Birth Plan Vs. Reality

by Kim Neyer | More from this Blogger

31 Jul 2009 11:11 PM

Before I had my son, I said, "No induction! No pain medication! No episiotomy! No nothing!" Then I ended up experiencing what I like to call "lazy labor" and wasn't stretching quite enough to fit the little guy's head through. I did have a drug-free birth, aside from the Pitocin. I've heard Pit makes your contractions ten times stronger; needless to say I'm eager to know what natural contractions feel like compared to the ones I felt. I would like to go into labor naturally next time without the use of Pitocin. Will the natural labor feel like a walk in the park compared to what I've already gone through? If I forgo the Pit, will I be able to avoid another episiotomy?

In all honesty, these questions can't be answered because so many factors play into what type of birth a woman has. Birth plans can give caregivers an idea of the mother's preferences, but the reality is that things never go quite as planned. Sometimes your contractions just won't get rolling on their own - and sometimes your baby's head is just too big.

When you are writing a birth plan, try to keep it realistic and keep an open mind about changing your plans. Sticking to a plan too rigidly could actually compound your stress in the delivery room and cast a negative light on your birth experience. I look back and regret my episiotomy sometimes, but then I remember how afraid I was of tearing, and how that fear kept me from pushing as hard as I needed to. For me, the episiotomy was the best option at the time and in my circumstances. The same goes for my induction. It's easy for me to look back and say I should have been more patient and waited for my contractions to start back up again. On the other hand, who's to say they would have in a safe and timely manner? After all, my mother had to get a cesarean after waiting over two days for contractions to start after her water broke.

Did your birth go according to plan? What would you change? What will you do differently next time?

Learn more about Kim Neyer

Kim is a freelance writer and stay at home mom to her 10-month-old son, Micah. She has been married to her husband, Eric, since 2006.

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ruthann8 (6378) 03 Aug 2009 09:09 AM

Did my baby's birth go as planned? NO! But I wasn't disappointed. It was a whole combination of things. In my family, most of the women have been unable to have natural childbirth b/c of various reasons. When my mom had me they had to use the forceps and she tore. She had over 200 stitches and landed herself back in the hospital b/c of infection. Her 2nd baby was an emergeny c-section b/c the baby's heart rate had dropped.

When I was pregnant my mom actually asked me when my c-section was scheduled:) Too many things have gone horrible wrong during the birthing process in our family. I have several great uncles that have MR b/c of lack of oxygen. I laughed at her and said I had to at least try & I reminded her that things have changed over the years. Knowing our family history I was going to have my baby in a hospital and I was going to be monitored.

You can read about her birth story here http://forums.families.com/birth-story-of-ellamae-rose,t116255

B/c of complications my baby girl was born by c-section. Blood work indicated she had and infection. So they thought she had caught group B strep and started her on IV antibiotics while they waited for the blood cultures to come back (takes 72 hours!) So for the next 3 days I felt soooooooo guilty for even trying to have her naturally. But everything turned out fine and I have a beautiful girl!