Can I Love Another Baby This Much?

by Pattie Hughes | More from this Blogger

16 Feb 2007 09:25 AM

This question is very common among women pregnant with their second child. You love your child so much; it can be hard to imagine having the same strong feelings about another baby. This worry can become real fear and can even cause guilt. I remember feeling this way when I was pregnant with my second daughter.

Your relationship with your second will be different than the one you enjoy with your first baby. After all, they are two unique individuals. This doesn't mean the love is less, it isn't. It's just different. Your first baby made you a mother and that special bond will always exist in your heart, as it should.

You will find that you love your second born in a different way, but that love is just as strong. Your second baby will have a unique personality and you will respond to that. Relax and enjoy getting to know your new little bundle of joy. The love will come naturally.

There is some good news regarding parenting the second baby. When my second daughter was born, I felt more confident as a mother. I didn't worry as much about breastfeeding and whether she was getting enough milk. I was more relaxed when she would go through spurts of crying and was better able to respond to her cues.

You may also have feelings of guilt toward your first born child. After all, this child has had every bit of your attention since birth. Won't she feel neglected after the arrival of her sibling? The short answer is yes, her life will change. This change won't necessarily be all bad.

My daughter was only 21 months old when her little sister arrived. I worried so much about her reaction. Would she be able to handle a new baby in the house? She had us for the first 21 months all to herself. She was still so small. How would she adjust to the new baby? This caused anxiety and guilt in me.

It turned out that all my fear and anxiety was needless. My daughter did take some time to adjust to the change in our routine. Some things definitely changed. Daddy took over the duties of putting her to bed at night, since I was often busy nursing the new baby. She did adjust very well and loved her little sister from the first moment she saw her. So did I.

Related Articles:

When One of You Wants Another Baby

Are You Ready for Another Baby?

Preparing Children for the New Baby

Learn more about Pattie Hughes

Pattie Hughes is a freelance writer and mother of four young children. She and her husband have been married since 1992. Pattie holds a degree in Elementary Education from Florida Atlantic University.

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karabu (980) 20 Feb 2007 01:39 AM

I'm expecting my second right now. While I knew in my heart all the things you covered in this post - there's always lingering anexiety. Thanks for the reassurance - can never get enough of that!

Pattie Hughes (7652) 20 Feb 2007 04:42 AM

Congratulations on your new addition. Be sure to stop back and let me know how in love you are with the baby when he or she arrives ;) Trust me, it all works out!

SaraJeff0907 (6) 20 Feb 2007 01:32 PM

i am pregnant with my 4th child and after my second i didnt knwo if i could love another child the way i did my first but it is possible and now i love everyone of them the same...

Congrats on the second.

mama2riley (24481) 22 Feb 2007 02:03 PM

I am expecting my 2nd in 12 days and I admit I have had all these fears you had mentioned, especially regarding my ds who is only 18 months old. Thanks for the reassurance. I know that it will all be okay :).