Do I Have Postpartum Depression?

by Meredith Ethington | More from this Blogger

23 Mar 2011 02:00 PM

I didn't realize that I had postpartum depression until it was over. That's a scary thought. But, like every first-time Mom, I kind of had the attitude that I would be so in love with my baby that there was no way that I would be depressed! No way.

My situation was hard because my husband was in graduate school when we had our first baby. He was working long hours, and took the car with him to travel to his surgery rotation an hour one way. We just had one car. So, all day, Monday through Friday I was stuck in a 2 bedroom apartment. Some days were great. But, most days were lonely. I had one younger sister in town, but she lived 30 minutes away, and did not have a car herself. So, it was hard for us to get together. The rest of my family lived out of state.

I tried to fill up my days with walks in the neighborhood, and scrapbooking, but the reality was that I was breastfeeding, and exhausted. I just wanted someone to give me a break, but there was no one that could. It caused me to feel more and more alone. There would be times when I would cry for no reason, or lash out at my husband who I rarely saw. Then, there were other times when I was so overwhelmed with love for my new baby that I thought I was the happiest person on earth.

The emotional ups and downs can take a toll. Combine that with no sleep, and it is a recipe for depression. I just wished that I had spotted the warning signs sooner, and admitted to my doctor that I was sad, and weepy.

Luckily for me, I never had thoughts of hurting myself or my baby. However, for many women, this is a reality. Whether you are feeling those feelings or not, if you seem like you are just not yourself, then you should speak to your doctor. There is no shame in admitting you might need a little help. Your body goes through some very extreme changes, and the hormones you experience both during, and after pregnancy make it difficult to cope.

When my baby was about 4 months old, I suddenly felt like a fog had been lifted. I was happier, wanted to go out and do more, and was feeling more confident as a mother. I wasn't crying all the time. It was then I knew I had been depressed. However, for many women, this "fog" of depression can last much longer. So make sure you take care of yourself and your baby after pregnancy, and talk to your doctor candidly about how you are feeling.

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Learn more about Meredith Ethington

Meredith is a native Texan who is currently living in Salt Lake City, UT. She graduated from the University of Utah in 2002 with a B.A.

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